A mother's heart

My heart is heavy tonight. It's full of wonder and hope during this advent time, but that special mother's heart of mine is heavy with unknowing and sadness for my dear Ana-girl.



It seems silly in the grand scheme of things. I know so many others who are suffering much worse, but I'm still sad for my girl. Last Monday I noticed a dime-sized section of her hair was missing. MISSING! At once I began the third degree. Did someone pull your hair? No.
Did your hair get caught in a toy? No.
Does it hurt?
Is it itchy?
Adam, do you remember anything happening to Ana's hair?
KIDS, do you guys know what happened to your sister?
No, no, no and no.

The skin looked a bit dry and scaly, so we massaged some olive oil into her scalp and left it overnight. Adam's theory was "if it's good enough for Jesus..." The next morning the dry and scaly part was gone. It did not, however, regrow my poor girl's hair while she lay sleeping.

By Tuesday night, the patch of missing hair had enlarged to the size of a quarter. By then I had decided to seek medical help. I got an appointment for that Friday.

We are now treating Ana with anti-fungal in case it is ringworm--highly unlikely given it's appearance. In fact, the doctor wishes it to be ringworm because we can at least treat that. More than likely it is alopecia areata. Hair loss with an unknown cause and varied outcomes. It could grow back. It may be permanent. It could spread. It could stay the same.

I'm thankful that we have ruled out scarier diagnoses. It's not lupus or a nervous disorder. We're going at this with all guns blazing: treating her for ringworm at several angles, increasing her protein and iron in case it is a deficiency in either area. I have hope that she'll regrow the missing hair.

But tonight I am sad for my girl who has to hide a bald spot at age three. Who has always been complemented on her beautiful curls and now may be noticed for a different reason. Who has such faith in me that after I applied some ointment the other night gave me a hug and said, "Thanks Mom for fixing my head."